Trust is a Dance

Build your relationships first….then your dentistry. ~ Bob Barkley

Trust is a Dance

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Trust in another person is commonly defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truthfulness, capability, and so forth of another. And from there, “Good relationships must be built on trust.”

But truthfully, when we talk about trust, we are talking about vulnerability, and we are talking about how much vulnerability we will allow into our lives at a particular moment or with a certain person or organization.

The more a patient trusts us, the more they are allowing themselves to be potentially hurt- they have made a risk/benefit analysis with their right brain and have perhaps decided to throw the dice. Conversely, when patients do not trust us very much, they allow for minimal vulnerability- and that could be on the physical, emotional, financial, or all three levels.

So, when a patient says, “no” to allowing us to take x-rays, or to a proper restoration, or some another appropriate procedure, they are often saying, “I don’t trust you yet,” and we often take this instinct of self-preservation personally, and then project our feelings onto it…all damaging and unproductive.

A better approach would be to empathetically explore why, and search for some common ground in shared goals and values toward health.

So, “No” often means “Not yet,” as in, “You have not yet convinced me that I should allow myself to be that vulnerable around you.”

And then juxtaposed to our patient’s level of trust -is our’s. Can WE trust their decision-making ability enough to invest a lot of our time, energy, and money into helping them fully learn about their situation, and fully understand their choices, as well as allow them the time and space to decide for themselves what is in their best interest and when?

So, it is “all about trust” – isn’t it? Trust is an emotionally-driven dance which will either bring us closer together or father apart over time.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, © 2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

It’s All About Trust

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Everyone agrees that mutually beneficial, and enjoyable relationships are key to a practice’s long term success. But what does “relationship” mean in this context?

To some, a good relationship represents two people who get along and perhaps enjoy being in each other’s company. But is that enough to build a successful health-centered practice?

I would argue not.

Getting along and even enjoying the presence of other people alone doesn’t go deep enough. It only addresses good rapport, and good rapport is only the starting point of a truly helping relationship.

So we need more.

We need shared values. We need shared understanding. We need shared goals. And to a large degree, we also need a shared vision of a preferred future so that all the goals are oriented in a specific mutually agreed upon direction.

And that vision must largely originate from the patient, because it is their water to carry, not just ours (Yes, we can facilitate the development of the patient’s vision, but we can not give it to them).

Consequently, I will call the achievement of this type of relationship, “patient-centered” or “client-centered”. And it is only possible through mutual trust – and a lot if it at that, because we must have enough trust present within the relationship to allow for open and transparent communication to occur. This type of communication is much deeper, and it includes discussions around fears, personal challenges, barriers, short-term agendas, as well as longer-term goals.

When a patient trusts us, they are essentially allowing themselves to be vulnerable to our actions, which could, if they go wrong, harm them physically, emotionally, and/or financially.

Some patients will extend their trust to us quickly without a lot of justification simply because we have big letters after our name on the wall, but with the advent of the internet and an increasing amount of predatory activity in marketplace, this de facto trust is becoming more and more rare. And in its place we have cynicism and DIS-trust; we must now commonly EARN our patient’s trust through our action, attitudes, philosophy, and behavior.

So, exposure of and meaningful discussions around trust-related issues represent the key distinction between a health-centered practice and an attractive and pleasant place where dental services are provided in exchange for money. Hence, a health-centered practice therefore must be centered around trust, both the earning of it and the maintaining of it.

This represents both a challenge, and an opportunity. Marketplace trends today, particularly with regard to the expansion of corporate practice models, are making trust a more rare -and therefore valuable – interpersonal commodity. And this means that if you become exceptionally good as a team at building and maintaining trust, your have discovered an important strategic advantage as the market continues to devolve toward reductionism.

Our ability to establish and maintain trust-based relationships with our patients must therefore be a central focus, because without trust, dentistry quickly degenerates into a price-driven, commodity-type transaction ripe with miscommunication, disappointment, or even worse.

Trust therefore represents a key metric in the quality of your future in dentistry. Trust also becomes a key metric in the quality of your patient’s experiences with dentistry. And both are directly linked to happiness and fulfillment.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Though Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

What is your Brand?

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[et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text”]Strong, well-differentiated, and well-positioned practice “brands” sustain high profit margins, and have pricing power while seeing fewer patients each day. They also secure more patient loyalty and appreciation, grow faster, and ride through economic downturns with less trauma. In contrast, practices with undifferentiated brand images tend to have much lower profit margins, depend on practice promotions and come-on gimmicks, are insurance dependent, and require high patient volume to survive because many people leave “out the back door.”

We only have two choices: Position or be positioned, and this is because even if we have made no effort to position our practice within our community, we have still created a “brand” for our practice by default. Branding in this scenario comes through others making assumptions about you which are likely to be similar to experiences they have had with other dentists. If their previous dentist spent minimal time building truly helping relationships, they will likely assume that you will do the same. If their previous dentist was a family practitioner with little understanding of esthetic or restorative dentistry, they will likely assume the same of you as well.

In the general public’s eyes, all dentists are pretty much the same, unless you have made the effort to help them learn otherwise – and of course YOU ARE substantially, and meaningfully different.

Positioning your practice through strategic branding allows you to promote your strengths and unique selling points (USP’s). This in turn causes others to approach you who are interested in your best and finest services.

How do you know if your practice “brand” is moving you in the right direction? The answer is found in more than just your monthly production numbers and collection statistics.

You can begin by asking yourself these 5 questions:

Do many of my new patients reluctantly accept or not appreciate the value (to them) of a comprehensive exam?

Are you frustrated that you must aggressively “sell” restorative dentistry, in order to cause your patients to choose appropriate and predictable treatment?

Do your patients frequently break appointments and delay treatment plans because proper dentistry is simply not a priority in their life?

Do your practice collections lag behind because many of your patients begrudgingly pay their dental bills?

Do you spend too little time performing the kind of dentistry you really enjoy and feel is the most predictable and valuable to your patients?

If you honestly answered “Yes” to several of these questions, it’s likely that your brand may need either a “makeover” or significant refinement. And you may very well need to get about the business of repositioning your practice to be more attractive to the kinds of patients who value and are interested in your best and finest services.

In future articles, I will cover how to do just that.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column]
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Anger is Often the Offspring of Fear

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We have all had it happen, that moment when Mrs. Smith, in the middle of a normal conversation regarding an appointment, financial, or treatment commitment, flips into an angry rant – seemingly out of the blue.

According to several studies, we now know that anxiety often presents itself as anger, as the two emotions are frequently co-mingled in the limbic brain.

And where can we find a whole lot of anxious people?  – The dental office.

According to the University of Pennsylvania Department of Psychiatry, people who are severely anxious regarding social situations are much more prone to outbursts of anger. When a situation is ambiguous, such as a large unexpected expense to a person on a tight budget, or a procedure requiring passive cooperation when a person’s memory is full of fearful experiences – the individual tends to assume the worst case scenario.

The new expense is going to wipe them out! The trip with the kids will have to be canceled! The car payments will not be met! The procedure will cause excruciating pain while being trapped,  and they have no way to stop it!

Dr. Gregory Jantz, author of “Overcoming Anxiety, Worry, and Fear,” tells us that anger often emerges as a dysfunctional coping response to a emotionally charged situations, and this is because both anxiety and anger run on adrenaline – the “fight or flight” hormone.

High anxiety over a new and seemingly unmanageable expense, or a procedure where the person fears physical harm (real or imagined), leaves the person feeling out of control and totally vulnerable. Anger is subconsciously triggered from the limbic brain to make the person feel more powerful, and more capable of confronting the perceived threat to their well being.

So there you have it. This is how the normally composed Mrs. Smith, who serves on the committee for the homeless, and who is well known to be kind and generous flips into an unexpected rant.

How can we avoid this, as it is unproductive to everyone involved? By consciously taking the time to develop truly helping relationships with each and every patient. By listening, particularly for issues which are anxiety-provoking in a person, and gently exploring the issues with them. By avoiding conversations which are centered around telling people only what is wrong with them, instead of what is right about them, and the positive possibilities which exist for them if they are approach in a thoughtful, strategic fashion.

Pretty much everyone who walks our door wants us to help them. By talking the time to know them better – particularly on the emotional level, helps us to do that much more effectively.

And isn’t that what we all want for our patients?

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

 

 

Consider saying nothing.

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Sigmund Freud emphasized that we are communicating when we are silent. So, often times silence is a powerful tool when used judiciously to break through to what a patient is really feeling or thinking.

This of course is relevant only if your intention is to establish a long-term helping relationship with a person. And in that case, the goal is to work toward open, honest, communication. So, sometimes we listen, and sometimes we judiciously speak. Sometimes we share how we are feeling, and sometimes we do not – at least not yet.

We need to tell the patient the truth, but the question is: When? When will be the most positively influential time for me to share what I know and how I feel about it?

These are questions that Bob Barkley explored with Nate Kohn, PhD and which successfully evolved into what is known today as “Codiscovery”. And Codiscovery is “learning with”, but also generous listening and judicious speaking. It involves sharing the truth, which is not the same as telling the patient what we think is the truth – because the truth is much more personal than just the facts.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Who was Bob Barkley?

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Robert F. Barkley was born August 23, 1930 and grew up in the small downstate farming community of Ipava, Illinois – population 600. Bob later entered and graduated from Northwestern University Dental School in downtown Chicago. After some deliberation and a two year commitment to the Air Force and practicing in the Phillipines, he decided to set up practice in Macomb, Illinois with his wife Phyllis  and growing family. Bob described Macomb as being “the largest town between Ipava and the Mississippi River”; it was also home to the Western Illinois University.

Bob established his practice in the style of the time – a family practice. And like most newly minted graduates, Bob thought he was practicing a superior brand of dentistry relative to his peers.

Within a fairly short period of time however, Bob noticed that much of his dentistry was failing. He concluded that his techniques and materials were the cause, so he set about to learn more about cast gold restorations. As a result, he included more of this approach in his treatment plans and was fairly sure that this new strategy would work. “I assured myself that better quality repairs were the answer”, he said.
While this change helped increase Bob’s income, it came with an unanticipated side effect – many patients were turned off because they believed that Bob’s dental solutions were too elaborate and too expensive. And many patients left the practice as a result.

Persistent in his new strategy, Bob soon developed a reputation as a “gold man”. While this is not a negative description in dental circles, the citizenry of Macomb developed a decidedly negative tone when they described Bob using that term. Bob, in their eyes, had gone “big time” and had left their perceived simpler needs behind.

About that time, Bob attended a lecture by Dr. Clyde Schuyler. Dr. Schuyler told Bob that he needed to learn more about a broader range of clinical dentistry, and that Bob already knew, “how to sell more things than he knew how to do”. Dr. Schuyler’s words stuck and set Bob on a path of learning even more about the clinical options for his patients. From that point on, the more Bob learned, the more he saw in each patient’s mouth – but this time, he knew what to offer and how to improve their care on an even higher technical level. This new-found confidence and knowledge lead Bob to develop even more elaborate treatment plans, resulting in even higher total case fees. In is mind, this new strategy would lead to an even more successful practice, but it didn’t turn out that way at all.

While Bob’s recommendations were sound, his patients could not understand the value behind what he was suggesting. Was there really that much wrong? Was there really that much to do? It soon became apparent that there was a flaw in this new strategy as well. Here was Bob, a highly trained dentist with a full set of skills and treatments which could clearly benefit his patients, yet few of them seemed interested.

Bob was forced, yet again, to dig deeper for solutions.

It was at this point, that Bob focused on the conflict between how he felt dentistry should be practiced, and the way the people of his community seemed to want him to practice. He summed it up by commenting “…it seemed that a decision had to be made whether to work for the classes or the masses. Reluctantly, I chose the former. I would offer what I knew was best for the patient and let the chips fall where they might.”

And fall they did.

Some patients left his practice disgruntled, and others just left confused. Even some childhood friends refused to associate with him. During this time of turmoil, a high school classmate (one of his favorite cheerleaders at that time) came to his office seeking help for her debilitated mouth. Four children had been birthed since high school, and she was convinced that between her family heritage of “soft teeth” and the well-known “drawing out of calcium” from the teeth during pregnancy, that her dental future was dim. As a result, Bob was cautious due to being fully aware of his failure to sell proper dentistry to many others before her. He tried a new strategy, and recommended that she improve her hygiene habits as well as address some of her basic needs in the most affordable way. He thought that surrendering to a more pragmatic approach would win the day – after all, he did not want to compromise his long-standing relationship with her. So, appointment was set, but the scheduled appointment time came and went. She failed to show up. What could have possibly happened?

Bob recalled that he nearly cried when he saw her again – this time in public, and not in his practice. She had, in his words, “committed dental suicide” in another office and was now wearing full dentures.

This event was so emotionally troubling to Bob, that it was catalytic in changing his practice life forever. And it set the stage for creative solutions Bob would develop and later share with tens of thousands of dentists around the world.

It was at this point that Bob committed himself to “making prevention pay off”. He wanted to be certain that – especially for those who could not afford extensive care – a preventative strategy would be both more successful and less expensive than extracting teeth and inserting dentures (surrender).

Bob then committed himself to becoming a student of an even wider range of both scientific and behavioralistic concepts. From Dr. Sumter Arnim he learned how to successfully treat and manage dental caries and periodontal disease. From Dr. L. D. Pankey he learned restorative methods and the need to create a principle-centered philosophy, as well as the inter-relationship between behavioral and clinical dentistry. And through Dr. Nathan Kohn, a PhD Educational Psychologist, Bob deepened his understanding of interpersonal communication, the requirements for behavior change, and on how people learn.

Bob Barkley’s most recognized legacy is based on his creation and development of what is commonly known today as “Preventive Dentistry” – a concept that rarely existed outside of academia at the time. In tandem with this, Bob toured the country teaching a five-day learning and skill development program which dentists could use In their practices. This approach was often augmented with phase-contrast microscopes, and bacterial samples taken from the patient’s mouth and used to help the patients better understand their disease process as well as what to do about it.

Bob Barkley’s most overlooked legacy is related to his development with Nate Kohn of what is known today as “co-diagnosis” or “codiscovery”. These were concepts that Bob pioneered and taught extensively as well. (Anyone who has had a chance to see videos of Bob working with patients can testify to his masterful ability to engage people and lead them though a facilitated learning process). This co-diagnostic process became the linchpin of his practice success, as it allowed people the opportunity to value proper dentistry and consistently request it.

As you can see, Bob’s influence on dentistry was both broad and deep considering his premature passing at the age of 46 in 1977. His death in a chartered airplane crash brought a tragic end to a highly influential career. Fortunately, Bob’s influence lives on through the work of many others who continue to be amazed at the progressive nature of his thinking.

The purpose of the Bob Barkley Study Club and Codiscovery.com is to keep this wonderful legacy alive, as well as build on these timeless concepts for the future. Please join us with your thoughts and writing!

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Publushing Editor Codiscovery.com

Paul@paulhennydds.com

True Grit

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Idabelle came from a small farm just outside of Norman, OK, and was the oldest of five children. At age 14 her father died in a wood stove fire and circumstances demanded that she assume the leadership position in the family. She ran the farm, bailed the hay…you name it, she could do it.
Idabelle loved her father, but had a rather contentious relationship with her mother, and at age 17 decided it was time to leave. She boarded a train in 1912 and headed to Chicago with her 8th grade education and Oklahoma farm wisdom.

Upon arrival, Idabelle decided that she wanted to become a lawyer, so she applied and was accepted to Law School. For reasons which are currently unclear, she did not complete her studies and next moved to Detroit, another Midwestern boom town. There, Idabelle worked as a clerk for a prominent lawyer. Because of her training, and the fact that he was a drunk, she tried most of his cases in court, winning many.

Later, she met Ralph and they married. Ralph was a gregarious insurance salesman who had climbed the ladder to middle management. Together they studied the insurance agency business and eventually started one of their own in Flint, Michigan.
There seemed to be nothing that Idabelle could not do. Give her a scrap of fabric and her sewing machine and a beautiful outfit would appear…. She even took up bowling at the age of 65 after Ralph died, just to get herself out of the house. After joining a bowling league, she soon had a room filled with trophies, commonly bowling over 200. A few years later, her arthritis was so severe she could no longer bowl with her right hand. Her solution? Start bowling with her left hand! And she soon started to dominate the league once again.

Idabelle was short, barely five feet tall, soft spoken and humble. When she laughed it was from the belly, and never at you, just with you. She had this look…this twinkle in her eye that said…”I believe in you”. She was my grandmother, and in my young world, she walked on water and could make it too. She shared her strengths with my mother who could have easily run GM with one hand tied behind her back. But instead, she (in spite of a Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education) chose to raise her three children instead. Two of us became dentists and my sister, became the CFO of the Indianapolis Zoo.
To me that was a truly liberated woman looked like… powerful, confident, in control, but never needing to show it. From them I learned that I was loved, but also that I was nothing special. And that the only way I was going to get ahead in life was to try twice as hard and to never give up.

Avrom King liked to call this aspect of character “grit. And grit is made not born. It is often born out of failure and the confidence which arises through overcoming it time and time again. It is also emerges from a strongly clarified self-concept facilitated by exceptional parenting. And it makes life easier, as it eliminates a lot of bad choices right out of the gate. “No, that simply does not work for me”…those kinds of choices.

Not that long ago, grit was everywhere, but I did not realize it until I started to tell others about my amazing grandmother.And when I did, people would say…”Wow! That’s pretty amazing! Now, let me tell you what mine did!”

Our culture has gotten off-track to a very significant degree…And by choice. But with just a little bit more grit, the corner can still be turned and the sun will shine again. And in spite of it being unfashionable to take chances, work hard, and assume responsibility for our decisions and actions, it is still the surest way to the top.
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What are your Core Values?

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We have all heard about the essential nature of “clarified values” with regard to the creation of a written a philosophy statement.

But what are “values”?

Let’s explore.

val·ue
noun
plural noun: values

Values will be defined here as, “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.”

Synonyms: principles, ethics, moral code, morals, standards, code of behavior

From this definition, you can easily see why values are the building blocks of our Philosophy- the way we choose to live our life. By clarifying our values, we are simply bringing them to our conscious attention and then analyzing them.

But we need to go deeper than superficial analysis, we need to discern which values are are most valuable- which ones are “core” to our belief system, and therefore our very Being.

To do this, let’s review the different kinds of values which we all hold, and from there – then “clarify” which ones are “Core”.

CORE VALUES

Values which are above all others. Typically, they are represented by only a handful, and of those handful, there is one which is PRIMARY. Some examples are God, Family, Love, and Personal Growth, and Sharing.

INTROJECTED VALUES

Values which we pick up from our experiences within our family, our church, or the general culture around us. Introjected values tend to be values around which we are continuously immersed, and which are consistent with the behavior of our peer group. The key distinction here, is that Introjected Values tend to be accepted at face value, and therefore left unexamined. Consequently, they are a mixed bag of Core Values and other values.

UNIVERSAL VALUES

Values which experience broad cross-cultural acceptance, such as the value of peace, the value of human life, the value of human dignity, the value of beauty, of acceptance, of happiness, freedom, knowledge, etc. Again, some Universal Values may also be “Core” to how you want to live your life.

PREREQUISITE VALUES

Values one needs to secure and “own” before other “higher” values can be achieved or even pursued. Abe Maslow famously differentiated these values in his Triangle. Some examples are security, freedom from hunger, shelter, Justice, basic education, and financial strength. Some of these values may be “Core” as well, particularly as you ascend Maslow’s hierarchy.

OPERATIVE VALUES

Values we repeatedly leverage to achieve our goals, aims, and intentions. These are values which function as guiding principles and therefore help us discern between right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate, helpful and unhelpful. They represent our current level of cultural wisdom in action, and are the central elements of a Mission Statement or Statement of Purpose. A Mission Statement should therefore be a reflection of our Core Values.

So, you can see that we need to spend time becoming more aware of our highest values, then rank them as best as possible – understanding that this ranking can change over time – AND THEN writing a Philosophy Statement. Mission Statements are developed FROM Philosophy Statements, and are in affect our Core Values put into action.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, © 2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Getting to “NO”

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When a person consistently behaves in a fashion which is in alignment with their core values, and we also agree with those core values, we label it ‘personal integrity’.

But notice what I have done here, I have added “and we also agree”, in other words, we come into every situation and every new relationship, with a bias – our own.

But what if we are unfamiliar with OUR bias? Then we tend to see the world and others through a distorted lens – we fail to make the mental corrections critically necessary for discovering the truth.

If we listen to another person with our ears and from our perspective, we get OUR reality- and not theirs. We get what we think they think. We get what we think they feel. We guess. We project. We conflate. And we then start to function off of assumptions and not facts. And that can easily lead to confusion and conflicts.

Living with integrity is also commonly called, “living authentically”, which perhaps is good for us, but may or may not be good for others.

Why?

Because what if the person does not share our values? What if the person does not share our priorities? What if they function from a mental paradigm which is so different from our own, that we can hardly agree on what the most basic observations mean?

All of this is why L. D. Pankey repeated over and over, “Know yourself”, Know your patient”, because knowing ourself allows us to take the blinders off, and better see who the patient is -and what they are truly seeking.

And if we do not know ourselves, we cannot easily discern if what the patient is seeking is what we can (or are willing) to help them with. Because if we are living with integrity, we must also have red lines we will not cross, and therefore we will have patients we cannot help because doing so will violate who we are. And repeatedly violating who we are inside isn’t good for us or anyone around us.

Consequently, living with integrity requires us to lovingly say “no” – the most liberating word in all of our vocabulary. And “getting to “no” clears the way for us to be able to say “yes” more often with the right people.

Paul A. Henny,DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Why Good Rapport is not Good Enough

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The concept of NOT providing major rehabilitative or esthetic treatment on people who are functional strangers to us, is one that I have believed-in for over thirty years, and is rooted in my exposure to the work of L.D. Pankey (Know your Patient).

On an intuitive level, this makes perfect sense, how can we possibly manage a person’s expectations if we are not first in a relationship which allows for us to have conversations centered around them?

And there is an important strategic side to to this issue as well. Studies at the University of Virginia show that patients tend to not sue dentists they like, and whose character and motives they understand. Simply put, when something off-plan occurs, or an undesirable outcome evolves, the patient typically views the dentist as someone who is trying their best to help them – and not as an adversary to attack in retribution. They continue to work with the dentist until a more desirable outcome occurs as long as they feel the dentist is working in good faith to resolve the issue.

You see, healthy fully-functional relations are two-way streets, and they involve the rather concrete expectations of BOTH individuals.

In the middle of our busy days, it is often easy for us to forget this truth; it is too easy for us to confuse ‘good rapport’ with ‘good relationships’. ‘Good rapport is when we think, “I like this person, and this person seems to like me”, it is an important first step in relationship-building, but it is shallow. It does not involve a deep sharing of mutual expectations.

Only a truly helping relationship has the capacity to create an environment where mutual expectations can be shared, and where fears and confusion are addressed and appropriately managed over time.

Bob Barkley helped to pioneer the development of truly helping relationships in dentistry, and he learned about this concept from Dr. Pankey as well. Bob went on to master the method with the help of Nate Kohn, Jr. PhD —an educational psychologist and follower of Carl Roger’s work.

What Bob and Nate evolved became known as “Codiscovery” and Codiagnosis”, and it changed the world of dentistry forever, because it changed how patents felt about themselves, their dentist, and therefore the role of dentistry in their lives.

How well do you know your patients? Have you fully harnessed the power of Codiscovery to create more and more truly helping relationships?

Paul A, Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

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