Empathy & Neuroscience

Build your relationships first….then your dentistry. ~ Bob Barkley

Empathy & Neuroscience

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Social neuroscience research tells us that empathy is  a complex, situational, and learnable brain function – at least for most people. And it is an emotional state made possible by the evolutionarily late-developing neocortex. Consequently, it is a very high-level and sophisticated brain function where we literally “put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.” Why is this a high-level and sophisticated brain function? Because the very design and primary function of the brain is self-serving. It is ego-centric. It is about self-preservation and self-prospering and not about others.

Fortunately for us, millions of years of neurological evolution have created a fascinating work-around to this truth. Deep areas of the “emotional brain” like the amygdala eventually figured out how to communicate with memory areas and the more objective outer layers of the brain like the somtosensory cortex and the supramarginal gurus. This sophisticated integration allows the brain to develop what is known today as psychological boundaries – our ability to discern who we are as being separate from others physically and emotionally.

Our ability to create and maintain boundaries represents the difference between sympathy and empathy and therefore our ability to understand others on a much deeper level.

But that is only half of it, because if we can perceive what another person is feeling, but can’t convey this understanding to them, then there is only limited value to it. What needs to happen next is the person must “feel felt” as Daniel Siegel likes to say. The person must feel that you understand them on an emotional level, because that is where significant trust begins.

Additionally, research tells us that our ability to function in an empathetic fashion is very situationally-influenced. In other words, if we are distracted, cognitively busy, emotionally-closed, or even too joyful, we will be unable to accurately read what another person is feeling and accurately internalize it. Instead, we will misread them and then project what we THINK they are feeling. And empathy is not about thinking- it’s about feeling.

All of this is relevant to relationship-driven dentistry as our capacity to function empathetically is key to the establishment of meaningful and collaborative treatment plans as well as facilitating their follow-through.

So, our mindset influences our patient’s mindset, and then their’s -ours. And to make that emotionally interconnected experience positive and constructive for both of us, empathy must be present.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Everyone is worthy

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When a dental practice is structured primarily around leveraging insurance reimbursement patterns and maximizing profits, the treatment provided too easily becomes transactional rather than transformative.

When this type of thinking becomes pervasive within an organization, it also becomes easy to label people, to misread them, and to project upon them what we are think they think. And from there, it becomes easy to believe that many people are arrogant, egotistical, and only interested in looking out for themselves.

But this cynical world-view towards patients is largely a characterization facilitated by environment and culture and is only rarely reality. Because most people are actually the opposite….they are distracted and shouldering unspoken burdens… they are embarrassed and sometimes ashamed, and instead of being motivated by narcissistic tendencies, the driver behind their behavior is that they don’t value themselves enough, consequently they don’t take care of themselves very well.

Hence the shame.

Hence the embarrassment.

People who don’t believe that they are worthy of the best of care are rarely going to choose it. And often paradoxically, these very same people believe that others in their lives are more worthy of the best – that it is others who shouldn’t suffer with pain, disfigurement, or lack of self-esteem. Consequently, they commonly make sacrifices for others at their own expense.

But these are personal truths we can only sense and come to know over time with people. And these are truths which are well beyond what a transactional relationship can reveal.

Sometimes, we can be the very first person in another’s life who communicates to them that they are indeed worthy of taking care of themselves better. And that they are even worthy of the very best dentistry has to offer.

Paul A Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Cognitive Overload

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If you are a typical smartphone user, you will pull out your phone 80 times a day and interact with it; extrapolated out, that’s 30,000 times a year. And like most other people, you will keep your phone within your reach, an around-the-clock repository of your life’s experiences which then influence how you think, what you think, and how you behave 24-7.

A 2015 Gallop survey revealed that the majority of smartphone users said that they “could not imagine life without the device.”

Think about this in the context of what happens when it is combined with our other technology at work and home. Because when you do so, you will get closer to the functioning mind of your average patient: They are distracted. They are constantly being interrupted. They are perpetually being bombarded with issues and problems that they don’t have the time to immediately resolve. They are what psychologists call “cognitively overloaded.”

And when we are too cognitively busy, we do not have the time to explore potential creative solutions which may very well be in our best interest. Instead, we tend to stick with what we already know – or at least what we think we know.

Research in cognitive science has revealed that our dependence upon technology is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, in many ways it allows us to do things faster and with less effort. On the other hand, and in spite of our 24-7 exposure to an infinite amount information, it does not necessarily make us any smarter or wiser.

In fact, a recent study at the University of California, San Diego revealed that the more access to smartphones people had, the more their cognitive abilities DECREASED. Additionally, a recent article in the Journal of the Association of Consumer Research says, integration of smartphones into daily life causes a “brain drain” and can diminish such vital mental skills as learning, logical reasoning, abstract thought, problem-solving, and creativity.

The reality is that smartphones have become so entangled in our lives that they are too often consuming too much of our attention and cognitive resources for too little of a pay-off.

There is even a phrase for this phenomenon, called the “Google effect” where a person thinks they know more than they do simply because they have access to information- yet can not personally recall the details…overconfidence, distorted conclusions…worse decisions…weak memory.

In dentistry, we see this all of the time. The challenge ahead is to find a way around this broad cultural trend and to connect much more meaningfully with our patients – to move our relationship from being transactional to transformational. And that takes time, and both of us stepping away from our technology addictions and communicating as only humans can do one-to-one, and allowing each other to “feel felt.”

Paul A Henny DDS

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Growth Takes Time

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Bob Barkley had a mindset relative to time, that many dentists simply will not accept, particularly with today’s tremendous push for “same day dentistry.”

(I make this argument fully recognizing that there is a time and place for same-day-dentistry, with particular emphasis on emergency situations, or for previously well-planned work. )

Bob Barkley’s behavioral orientation recognized that going faster often was less productive and less health-enhancing. This perspective was founded on the simple truth that health can not be given to others, and that only the momentary removal of disease-causing agents, forces, and the employment of man-made substitutes can be given to others. The removal of disease-casing agents and employment of man made substitutes- a crown to substitute for a broken down tooth for instance- represents a stabilization of the situation- not true health.

This is because health is not just the absence of disease. The World Health Organization defines health as, “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”

In other words, heath is not the ABSENCE of something, rather it is the PRESENCE of something….growth, development, movement toward a higher level of integration mentally, physically, and spiritually.

This of course was what L.D. Pankey was referring to when he created his graphic cross with “happiness” in the middle. Happinesses is the OUTCOME of heath, an ongoing and perpetual process, not a place in time. And certainly not something that someone else can give to another person.

Bob Barkley understood this on a very deep level, as he was a serious student of Dr. Pankey, and even served on the Board of Trustees of the newly formed LD Pankey Dental Foundation.

Hence, Bob understood that sustainable health has to involve personal growth – growth in a patient’s understanding of their situation, growth in their ownership of it, and growth in their willingness to course-correct, and to restore and maintain their oral and systemic health on a higher level.

Bob also knew that personal growth took time, so he had a developmental mindset, and not a “same-day” mindset. And that mindset was an active representation of his practice philosophy.

On this, Bob said, “About 80% of my practice is rehabilitative dentistry, done in many cases in the third to fifth year of working together. That is because it takes many patients that much time to really trust me enough, and to become sophisticated enough relative to understanding their choices, that they are ready to choose the finer kinds of services that I have to offer. In other words, it takes some people 3-5 years to change their operational values enough that they start to want the same things for themselves that I would want for them. It sometimes takes 3-5 years for our values to start to align enough that a full-scale, goal oriented collaboration can begin.”

(It is important to read Bob’s statement within the context of 1972 and in reference to the average person living in Macomb, Illinois at that time. Consequently, Bob’s starting point with his patients was in many cases much lower than what we see today with the significant increase in standard of living and due to our evolving cultural orientation toward heath. Consequently, in today’s timeframe, Bob’s 3-5 years might be more like 1-3 years or sooner.)

Regardless, growth still takes time. And when we elect to not take that time with people – and to instead just grab for ourselves what “production” is immediately available today, then we are often robbing both our patients and ourselves of heath. And isn’t dentistry supposed to be a health-promoting profession?

Paul A. Henny DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

What is a “Patient-centered” Practice?

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There is a fairly common misunderstanding among dentists, that a “patient -centered” practice is a structureless, even pandering way of working with people, where the patient’s happiness is the only thing that matters.

But that is not true.

In fact, I would argue that a reductionistic, insurance-centric practice is much more pandering than a truly patient-centered practice ever could be.

Why?

Because an insurance-centered, high-volume, procedure-oriented practice is about harvesting that which is immediately available – the low hanging fruit “covered” by insurance. And how does one harvest the proverbial “fruit” as a fast as possible? By playing nice. By being friendly. By memorizing the latest way to subtly manipulate people through heuristics.

A truly patient-centered practice is much different. So much so in fact, that many who practice in this way prefer to not even think of the people they help as “patients,” because the word “patient” implies a sense of dependency and involuntary-ness to the relationship.

Yes, there are people with whom we work who are both dependent upon us as well as are with us because they have to be -and not because they want to be. But the philosophy behind a patient/client-centered practice is to move away from dependency as quickly as possible and then to move towards collaboration.

Successful collaboration is only possible when we share values and a vision for what it is that we are trying to achieve together. But values are funny things, because they are often unrefined mindless beliefs which are floating around in the background of our unconscious. They are what psychologists call “introjected,” meaning, they may be significant to the person, but there can also be a wide and unrecognized discrepancy between the evidence available for holding tightly to the values and the justification for doing so.

In short, values are about beliefs, beliefs which we tend to build our lives around – for the good and bad…”If I smoke this cigarette, I will be able to settle down and refocus on the task at hand…If I eat this brownie, I will feel better about what just happened to me…If I meet this goal, I will feel better about myself.”

Because interjected values are generally untested, the internal contradictions remain unresolved. And nowhere is this truth is more apparent than in dentistry.

Most people come to us clueless about their current status, or even about how things got to be that way. Often, they are half the way to edentulous, and in their mind, they have just been following the advice and direction of their previous dentists.

Significant change in our patients is only possible when beliefs and values are re-examined. This means that some will have to be discarded, some updated, and some re-prioritized.

And THAT is what patient/client-centered practice is really all about – helping people to help themselves through values clarification and therefore better decision-making. Even thought this approach may lead to more patient/client happiness , happiness is not the primary purpose , realization of greater health is the primary purpose.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Help Your Patients With How They Think

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Understanding HOW the brain functions is key to structuring a maximally AFFECTIVE Co-discovery process. This is because creative problem solving -and consequently- problem ownership and follow-through, are almost pure right cerebral hemisphere functions.

Strategically facilitating a person staying in “right brain mode” during a new patient process, sets the stage for “yes” when one’s goal is to gain agreement to a more comprehensive approach to treatment.

Unfortunately, the way every dentist has been trained since the beginning of time does exactly the opposite. It facilitates keeping the patient in a left hemisphere orientation, which is self-referential, and more likely than not to reject a comprehensive approach to problem solving. Why? Because the left hemisphere has no capacity for holistic thinking. It’s function is primarily objective, and it likes what it thinks it already knows.

When we inadvertently keep people in left hemisphere thinking mode we often undermine both our goals for our patients and their long-term best interests. This is because patients will use inductive reasoning (using what they already know, shaded by their biases and desire to resolve immediate needs only) to make their final decision most of the time.

This is why comprehensive “case presentations” suffer such low acceptance rates (commonly in the 30% range).

We all make decisions primarily based upon our beliefs, and if our beliefs are left unexamined or somehow challenged by a stranger in a somewhat emotionally threatening way, we will double down and stick to our existing beliefs even more firmly: “That dentist is just trying to rip me off…”

Bob Barkley and Nate Kohn Jr. developed the Co-discovery method to strategically keep patients in a DEDUCTIVE thinking mode, where they were much more prone to learning new information, re-examine their existing beliefs, and make adjustments where necessary to obtain their now-more-clarified long term goals…goals which have a more holistic self-motivating narrative behind them. And key: Goals which they themselves have co-created.

Such was the genius behind Bob Barkley’s work. Why so few people truly understand what Bob was really doing is beyond me. Perhaps it is because we dentists linger too long in left-brained inductive thinking mode as well, and are able to see it.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Creating Hero’s

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Personal and collective attitudes which create invitations to victimhood and infirmity literally alter what patients expect of themselves. And when they embrace a status of affliction such as, “My family has bad teeth,” or “I am not going to spend that kind of money on my mouth,” it hints of oppression, as does, “I can’t do this, I don’t have dental insurance,” or “I am just too scared to go to the dentist.”

These mindsets also foster disengagement, denial, and avoidance of problem-ownership, which all delay timely and appropriate treatment, and which can snowball into even bigger problems.

These avoidance-based strategies are the coddling nurse of anxiety, often making it worse, as they facilitate a self-message that the person is too fragile personally, emotionally, or financially to proceed in any productive direction. They also cultivate an external locus of control…a feeling that the person has no self-agency, hence, their fate must been thrown to the wind.

In patients who truly need complex restorative dentistry, we need for them to show-up. We need for them to actively participate in problem-ownership, planning, and execution. We also need for them to step up and be courageous hero’s in their own journey toward better health, function, and appearance.

And many of them can and will through co-discovery and a well calibrated missional Care Team to help them through the sometimes long and testing process.

Paul A Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Just do your best.

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Sometimes we just have to do the best we can. We are all flawed, and we all bring our flawed nature into every new relationship. The key however is to keep an open heart, an open mInd, and to commit ourselves to discovering the truth.

And all of this holds true with our patients as well. What they know, what they understand, how they feel, what they want, and how they want us to help them are all moving objects in the beginning. Hence, new relationships are like dances – often starting separated and unemotional, and hopefully evolving into more intimate and emotional communication where the truth is revealed over time. And with it, desires, motivations, roadblocks, and what it all means to them.

“Going slow” with people in the beginning is often the only way to get to that place. And that truth is at the very heart of co-discovery.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, © 2018

We are all incomplete.

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We are all flawed and incomplete, full of unrealized potential, while often stuck or confused about what to do next or even who or what to believe.

The same holds true for our patients. They are incomplete as well. They are often confused, and they often do not know who or what to believe about their situation.

So, how do we work around this basic truth and move toward greater understanding, completeness, and therefore better decisions?

That was a question Bob Barkley and Nate Kohn Jr. labored over for years. And they found the answers in the area of educational psychology, which at the time was being transformed by the work of Carl Rogers PhD.

The central idea that Rogers persistently advanced was that everyone has growth potential, and everyone has deep inside -albeit often suppressed or blocked – the desire to grow and become more, the desire to become more functional and effective, the desire to feel good about themselves, and the desire to be a fully creative and joyful human being. Rogers often referred to this positive process of growth and development as “becoming,” and it was centered around his deep faith in his client’s ability to figure things out and make better choices over time via facilitation.

As dentists, we are generally not taught to think about our role as being facilitative, rather we are taught to be interventionists. We are taught to use our knowledge and skills to tell others what to do, or to rescue. Yet, telling and rescuing tend to block growth if they become the central theme of a relationship – a relationship otherwise known as codependent.

Co-discovery was created by Barkley and Kohn as the genius work-around. It avoided telling, and minimized rescuing. It encouraged reflection, reassessment, values clarification, goal-setting, and problem ownership.

And it works. But only if you believe in the potential of others, and are willing to be a facilitator of ‘becoming.’

Paul A. Henny DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Everyone Needs a Job Description

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Bob Barkley and L.D. Pankey were adamant about the value behind the creation of a Practice Philosophy Statement. And about this key step, Bob used to say, “What you are doing here is writing your own job description.”

A Practice Philosophy Statement effectively creates a psychological practice constitution derived out of clarified values, priorities, and a vision of an optimal preferred future.

But Bob Barkley also had this to say: “Do you know who also needs a philosophy-based job description? Your patients! If they do not have a clear vision of where they want to go and a job description which helps them to get there, how are they supposed to know what they need to be contributing to make our collaboration with them successful?”

Without a “job description” our patients have no clearly understood pathway through which they can develop greater ownership and self-responsibility over their problems. So, a failure to create this type of clarification essentially robs them of the opportunity to receive and perceive positive feedback from others regarding the value of their contribution, which is key to bolstering their sense of self-esteem in this area of their life.

We want to be able to facilitate our patients feeling like THEY are in charge of managing THEIR challenges, and that they are capable of doing it successfully.

Co-discovery creates a forum to establish an agreed upon treatment philosophy which is co-created with each person and helps to define their “job description.” This is key because successful completion of complex coordinated multi-phase tasks, requires everyone be on the same page as well as fully understand why each step is so important. It is also key with regard to who is responsible for what after all active treatment has been completed.

Paul A. Henny DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

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