The Personal Growth Paradox

Build your relationships first….then your dentistry. ~ Bob Barkley

The Personal Growth Paradox

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Jerry Seinfeld was discussing what it initially felt like to get married, which he described as a feeling of nervousness and helplessness, “like being strapped into a rollercoaster, headed to the top of the hill, where the marriage awaits!”

“It’s like any growth,” Seinfeld said, “you can’t really be ready for it. It’s new….you’re going to have a new life as a result…You’re going to be a new person.”

Jerry Seinfeld is right on this, we are never fully ready for growth in our personal and professional lives. We are never fully ready to start a practice, to hire a new team member, let another one go, start a marketing program, incorporate a new technique, or to experiment with better ways to facilitate learning with our patients.

Personal growth represents one of life’s many paradoxes; we are not ready to grow precisely because we need to grow, so we must start before we feel we are fully prepared for it.

Almost by definition, growth must be something which makes us feel unprepared and uncertain, because if the growth process was comfortable and easy, it wouldn’t be growth, it would be familiar and therefore a repeat of something we already know.

And it would be boring…

Nor would it move the needle.

There will never be a perfect time to do something which challenges and stretches us. And this will always be the case, so we need to get used to it feeling that way.

Starting a marriage? …A new and unknown level of interpersonal commitment.

Having your first child? …Lots of learning on-the-fly.

Choosing a new and more consciously purposeful direction for our practice? …Lots of unknowns on the front end.

This is not to say that growth should be a reckless process, particularly with regard to running a business and managing relationships. We must first explore our desires, intentions, and motivations. We need to think things through…but at some point we must embrace uncertainty because it is the only path forward.

We can never be ready for true growth, and that’s why it’s called “growth”. All we can do is step into it with everything we’ve got, and move forward toward the next uncertainty.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2017

Leverage Your Right Brain to Better Use your Left Brain

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Bob Dylan became the first musician to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, but he never set it as a goal, and he has no idea how it ever happened. In truth, Bob was just following his heart, his intuition, and his creative sense.

Bob’s work was the result of an inductive method, and consequently, he violated every rule regarding song structure and lyrics. He followed his vision before he had a full understanding of what he was creating, and consequently he let his incredibly high right brain skills guide him while leveraging his left brain musical knowledge.

And that made his work both unique AND resonate with the public like no other singer-songwriter had ever done before.

Relationship-based / health-centered dentistry requires this same approach. It requires a deep foundational understanding of dentistry on a technical level, but it also requires us to let go of the confines of our knowledge, and allow our creative minds to sense, intuit, and synthesize something new – inductively.

Recently, I had the privilege of meeting two prospective new clients who were seeking my assistance. And they had no idea what kind of help they needed – all they knew was that it was significant.

In the past, I would have jumped in quickly and built an elaborate solution for these individuals by examining them and staging a “case presentation” to demonstrate my exceptional problem solving skills and expert status.

And all of this would have been achieved through a deductive process based on my training, experience, and the scientific method, with little consideration for how they felt or even what they perceived as being important.

Today however, I rarely do that. Instead, I try to use induction to understand them…hear their pain and frustration, as well as try to facilitate in them a vision for a better future, one which makes sense to them and causes them to feel better about them-self.

And that requires me to get off my high horse and try to see dentistry as they view it…a confusing mess of things and choices that they have no capacity to place appropriate value upon.

That is why they called, not because they thought they had a titanium deficiency, or because they wanted to look like the cover model of Glamor Magazine.

They called because of their feelings, and likewise it was Bob Dylan’s understanding of feelings which catapulted him to the top.

And the same is possible for you.

Paul A Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2017

Uncomfortable? You’re on the right track!

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Jerry Seinfeld was discussing what it initially felt like to get married, which he described as a feeling of nervousness and helplessness, “like being strapped into a rollercoaster, headed to the top of the hill, where the marriage awaits!”

“It’s like any growth,” Seinfeld said, “you can’t really be ready for it. It’s new….you’re going to have a new life as a result…You’re going to be a new person.”

Jerry Seinfeld is right on this, we are never fully ready for growth in our personal and professional lives. We are never fully ready to start a practice, to hire a new team member, let another one go, start a marketing program, incorporate a new technique, or to experiment with better ways to facilitate learning with our patients.

Personal growth represents one of life’s many paradoxes; we are not ready to grow precisely because we need to grow, so we must start before we feel we are fully prepared for it.

Almost by definition, growth must be something which makes us feel unprepared and uncertain, because if the growth process was comfortable and easy, it wouldn’t be growth, it would be familiar and therefore a repeat of something we already know.

And it would be boring…

Nor would it move the needle.

There will never be a perfect time to do something which challenges and stretches us. And this will always be the case, so we need to get used to it feeling that way.

Starting a marriage? …A new known level of interpersonal commitment.

Having your first child? …Lots of learning on-the-fly.

Choosing a new and more consciously purposeful direction for our practice? …Lots of unknowns on the front end.

This is not to say that growth should be a reckless process, particularly with regard to running a business and managing relationships. We must first explore our desires, intentions, and motivations. We need to think things through…but at some point we must embrace uncertainty because it is the only path forward.

We can never be ready for true growth, and that’s why it’s called “growth”. All we can do is step into it with everything we’ve got, and move forward toward the next uncertainty.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Copyright 2016. All rights reserved. Thought Experiments LLC.

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

The Disaster of Negative Thinking

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“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.” — Albert Einstein

The nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience. It reacts to what you think and believe to be true. Conscious thoughts, put into the sub-conscious mind, have a self-fulfilling prophecy by influencing your behavior.

The subconscious mind makes no distinction between constructive and destructive thought impulses. It works with the material we feed it, through our thought impulses. The subconscious mind will translate into reality a thought driven by fear, power or greed just as readily as it will translate into reality the thought driven by courage or faith. However, no wealth or power will long endure, unless built on truth and justice.

Anger, fear, rage, anxiety, jealousy, hate, prejudice and resentfulness tear down and destroy your immune system and bring about mental and physical diseases of all kinds. All frustration is due to unfulfilled desires. If you dwell on obstacles, delays, and difficulties, your subconscious mind responds accordingly, and you are blocking your own good. What you affirm consciously and feel is true will be made manifest in your mind, body, and behavior.

The fundamental principal of autosuggestion works for the glory and success of mankind, if it is used constructively. It will destroy just as readily if used destructively. Those who end their lives in poverty, misery, and distress, do so because of negative application of the principle. The cause may be found in the fact that all impulses of thought have a tendency to clothe themselves in their physical equivalent.

Keep your conscious mind busy with positive expectation of the best, and your subconscious will faithfully reproduce your habitual thinking. Think good and good follows. Think evil and evil follows. You are what you think all day long. Whatever you conscious mind assumes and believes to be true, your subconscious mind will accept and bring to pass. Believe in good fortune, divine guidance, right action, and all the blessings of life.

Choose love! Choose health! Choose happiness!

There are millions of people who believe they are doomed to poverty and failure, because of some strange force over which they have no control. They create their own misfortune, because of this negative belief, which is picked up by the subconscious mind, and translated into its physical equivalent.

It is essential that we encourage the positive emotions as dominating forces of our mind, and eliminate negative emotions. A mind dominated by positive emotions, becomes a favorable abode for the state of mind known as faith. A mind so dominated may, at will, give the subconscious mind instructions, which it will accept and act upon immediately.” -Napoleon Hill

Bill Lockhard, Jr., DDS

On Mastery

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                                                            MASTERY

                                                                 M. William Lockard, Jr. DDS

 

            Within each of us there is an inner longing to live a life of greatness and contribution to what really matters – to really make a difference.    Stephen Covey                        It all begins with your dream of the life you want to live and the person you want to become: it is a matter of choosing and believing.                                                                                                           

                               Are you doing what you really want to do?                                                           

 The exceptional dental practice is based on values, principles and a purpose-driven vision to create a life of meaningful service by helping people improve their quality of life. This requires a commitment to continuous personal and professional growth which is a never ending spiral of learning new behavioral, organizational and technical skills; then applying the new knowledge and discovering new lessons you must learn. We learn by doing.  

Mastery is not really a goal or a destination, but rather a process, a journey that will take you along a path that is arduous and yet exhilarating. The path of a master is a commitment to the process of learning – doing – and applying what was learned.          

Learning any new skill involves relatively brief spurts of progress followed by a slight decline to a plateau at a higher level than before. It requires diligent practice to improve your skill to gain new levels of competence. During your journey most of the time will be spent on the plateau. It is important to be in the hands of a master teacher who involves the student in the process of learning not just hearing a polished lecture.                       

 Some people are willing to stay on a plateau forever. This is the doctor who doesn’t bother going to learning seminars but feels he is OK doing things the way he has always done them.  Practice, practice, practice is the path upon which the master travels. The dental practice that is only a collection of patients and a way to make money is not a master’s practice. Mastery is staying on the path.                                                                                              

There are times when it becomes necessary to give up some familiar skill or procedure in order to advance to the next level. You may need to assume the mind and attitude of a learner at the beginning of a new experience in growth.                 Ultimately, you will have to decide if you really want to spend the time and effort it takes to get on and stay on the journey; because, lifelong learning is the special province of those who travel the path of mastery, the path that never ends.                                                 

                                      The Masters Path Creates a Life That Matters

Many years ago Dr. Pankey told us that: 2% are masters, 8% are students  36% are adept (average) and 54% are indifferent (mediocre). That may be hard to believe until experience proves otherwise. I have also questioned many lawyers, policemen, builders, physicians, plumbers, CPA’s, etc. about their profession. They all agreed with the percentages. 

After observing dentists and how they practice, some things cannot be learned from a lecture, DVD or books. They must be learned by doing, hopefully under a guidance of a Master.                                                           

Mike Schuster, DDS suggests: There are three areas in dentistry that you must gain competence and then master.

1.    Technical excellence.  You can’t be a master of every area in dentistry. You will only become a Master in one or two areas. You can do endodontics, periodontics, oral surgery, etc. but you will not become a Master in all these areas. No matter how many technical courses you have taken and have achieved a high level of excellence, technical excellence alone has never proven to be the only requirement to become a Master.                                                                                                           

2.    Communication and Behavioral excellence. No matter how much you know and how excellent your technical skills, if you do not understand human behavior and have the communication power of influence, becoming a Master will be impossible.                                                                                                                                         

3.    Organizationally excellence. In addition to the Vision (what we want to create), the Purpose (why we want to create it), and the Philosophy (principles, values), the Master must have:

Systems to provide a structure and standard of excellence that drives your practice from the vision to reality.                                                                                                           

People are the most vital and important element to any business – the right people who work interdependently in harmony and share common values.                        

Time – as doctors, we must structure our time to be efficient with things and time effective with people. A person’s energy is an important element of time.      

Money – how the revenues are created and the costs of doing business are critical to the success of a business. Cash flow systems are management structures. 

Masters are dedicated to the fundamentals and committed to be continual learners. If you choose this path, you won’t work for insurance companies. You will be busy separating yourself from the average and mediocre practitioners.

 

            This is your life. You only get to live it once. It’s a matter of choice.

 

 

 

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