What is the nature of your relationships?

Build your relationships first….then your dentistry. ~ Bob Barkley

What is the nature of your relationships?

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Seth Godin is a brilliant thinker. In a recent blog post he told the following story entitled, “But he paid extra”:

We come up lots of reasons to work with jerks.

We take an investment from a jerk investor instead of a kind one.

We accept a job from a bully instead of someone who will nurture and challenge us with worthwhile work.

And we take on a customer who denigrates our team and our work instead of embracing the good ones…

The most common reason is that they pay us more. A better valuation, a better hourly rate.

That’s not a good enough reason. We pay for it many more times than we get paid for it.

……

Do you often find yourself in similar situations in your practice, except you are being paid LESS than you desire and deserve? You are working with people who are incapable for one reason or another of “paying you a fair fee with gratitude,” as Dr. Pankey used to say?

When we are in situations like this, commonly we are also in the middle of a dysfunctional dependency relationship, where expectations are not clear, communication poor, and assumptions abound – and lots of wrong ones at that.

And when assumptions are proven wrong, particularly when they involve money and low value for what is being paid for, confrontations arise. These may be aggressive, or passive aggressive -in your face or quietly simmering in the background.

When we fail to take charge of the relationships we have with our patients, they always go into some form of default mode based on assumptions. And that is a bad place to be.

But if we take control of a relationship by inviting a person into a collaborative one, one where understandings are more clear, communication channels are open, and responsibilities shared – amazing things happen.

Because two minds are better than one. And two people pulling in the same direction go farther. And two people who accomplish a lot together build lifelong bonds and deep mutual respect.

We should never consciously put ourselves in a situation like the one Seth describes. Nor should we do something even worse, work hard for someone who is resentful, or disrespectful.

Don’t do it. Show some leadership and strategically manage your relationships on a higher and more emotionally intelligent level.

You are the boss. Own it and stop complaining about the behavior of others that you allow to be close. Money isn’t the pathway to happiness, but a lack of it in combination with disrespect is hell – particularly in dentistry.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more on www.codiscovery.com

Can we Stand the truth?

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GM has a problem – and it is not new, because long ago, they forgot something. And in spite of the fact that the public has been screaming at them for four decades not opening up their checkbooks very often – they persisted.

Tone deaf.

Arrogant.

Thinking like they knew what was best.

Trying to force THEIR choices down on others.

There was a time when GM cars captured the imagination. Remember the 1972 Oldsmobile 442? The 1968 Pontiac GTO?

I do.

We in dentistry have the same problem. Most of us think we are selling services, hardware and things that fill spaces. But really what they are selling is a feeling. Feelings like, “I feel good about this decision.” Or, “I am not so sure about this, to I have to pay for it?”

We sell value, but not what we value – what our patients value.

But how can we know what our patient’s value and provide it to them if we don’t know them well?

We can’t.

And that is a fact.

So, think about this. Your future lies in your ability to deliver to others what they want. And if you don’t know what they want, and they don’t know what they want, then they will default to loss aversion: Why should I give you my money…something that I value more than your filling or crown, or your whatever thing I don’t understand?

Why?

That is an important question to answer.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Compliance vs. Commitment

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There are two distinctly different ways patients can say “yes” to treatment. Some say “yes” because the dentist has positional authority and is perceived to be the “expert.” In this case, the patient COMPLIES without significantly understanding what is going to happen or why the treatment has been proposed.

On the other hand, others make much more deeply informed choices through facilitated choice-making. These decisions are based upon their values, goals, and vision for themselves going forward. These decisions represent COMMITMENT – commitment to seeing the process through AND to an outcome they significantly value.

Achieving commitment* is an essential step when providing complex restorative, esthetic, and/or expensive treatment. (Commitment is less critical when proposing less expensive primary or emergency treatment).

Problems arise when patients COMPLY but do not fully COMMIT, particularly when some aspect of the treatment process goes off-course…it was more uncomfortable or inconvenient than anticipated…the implant failed to osseointegrate…the crown was never comfortable to chew on…the new fillings were sensitive…the root canaled tooth always felt odd…the front teeth never looked exactly like they thought they would.

These discrepancies potentially create resentment, or a level of disappointment which may or may not be expressed. In some cases, the patient might even leave the practice as a result without ever saying a word. And of course, in the worst case scenario, the patient might pursue legal advice.

Co-discovery, pioneered by Bob Barkley, was designed to help patients to more consistently move toward commitment. And this is important, because complying is not necessarily collaborating, and therefore it does not always involve the patient taking ownership of their problems – a critical boundary issue and key to successfully resolving the inevitable unexpected challenges which can occur along the path of a complex treatment process.

Commitment is different as it IS more collaborative, and therefore when problems or challenges arise, there is an openness within the relationship to discuss, negotiate, and more easily resolve them. It places ownership in the right place ( via a shared – interdependent relationship ). Commitment should always be the goal for every relationship, and being patient and willing to wait for it to emerge via facilitation is the key to success- because compliance without commitment is a dangerous place to be with others.

Paul A Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

* Commitment requires a psychological process that Jean Piaget PhD called “adaptation” where significant adjustments are made by this person with regard to their perspective and how they approach a problem. With commitments, often times fundamental assumptions have been changed – “paradigm shifts” which are both significant and values-based.

On Trust

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Trust in another person is commonly defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truthfulness, capability, and so forth of another. And from there, “Good relationships must be built on trust.”

But truthfully, when we talk about trust, we are talking about vulnerability, and we are talking about how much vulnerability we will allow into our lives at a particular moment or with a certain person or organization.

The more a patient trusts us, the more they are allowing themselves to be potentially hurt- they have made a risk/benefit analysis with their right brain and have perhaps decided to throw the dice. Conversely, when patients do not trust us very much, they allow for minimal vulnerability- and that could be on the physical, emotional, financial, or all three levels.

So, when a patient says, “no” to allowing us to take x-rays, or to a proper restoration, or some another appropriate procedure, they are often saying, “I don’t trust you yet,” and we often take this instinct of self-preservation personally, and then project our feelings onto it…all damaging and unproductive.

A better approach would be to empathetically explore why, and search for some common ground in shared goals and values toward health.

So, “No” often means “Not yet,” as in, “You have not yet convinced me that I should allow myself to be that vulnerable around you.”

And then juxtaposed to our patient’s level of trust -is our’s. Can WE trust their decision-making ability enough to invest a lot of our time, energy, and money into helping them fully learn about their situation, and fully understand their choices, as well as allow them the time and space to decide for themselves what is in their best interest and when?

So, it is “all about trust” – isn’t it? Trust is an emotionally-driven dance which will either bring us closer together or father apart over time.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC ©2018

Visions & Re-Visions

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According to Markus Zusak, he had to rewrite his book 150-200 times until he was happy with it. And he began by imagining the end of the story, then the beginning, then the chapter headings – then the writing…over and over again.

In the end, Markus had a NYT Best-seller, with 8 million copies sold, and a movie deal for ‘The Book Thief’.

One might be tempted to view Markus Zusak as an overnight success, but knowing what I have just told you allows you to understand that’s not the truth. The visibility of his success perhaps appeared to be overnight, but the success took him years to create.

So too is the case with relationship-based / health-centered dentistry -no overnight successes there either. The creation of the practice takes years, starting much like Zusak’s book – beginning with the end in mind.

From there, each aspect is assembled from finding and forming the right Care Team, to developing them, and to finding better and better ways to connect with patients – to truly hearing them…to understanding their struggles…to sensing their desire to feel better about themselves.

And along the way- mistakes, misunderstandings, and outright failures prompting rewrites, re-thinking, and re-doing.

This is the true nature of success – a pathway through failure and upward toward better understanding.

It has been said that the main difference between a vision and a dream is the work involved. The later requires none, the former’s work never ends. A true vision is a principle-centered thought capsule aching to be validated by reality. It has an inherent truth built into it which must be realized. And as with Zusak, if it takes 200 revisions to make it happen – then it takes 200 revisions – so be it.

The simple secret to success is in the willingness to be flexible and to accommodate new understandings combined with a sheer force of will and perseverance that only a few are willing to make.

Paul A Henny DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Your Practice’s Brand is a Feeling

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Your practice is a direct reflection of who you are, what you believe in, and what you can do for others. And the way the public perceives your practice is your practice “brand.”

You create your practice brand, consciously or haphazardly, with everything you do. In marketing circles, it is commonly said that “a “brand is an implied promise”, but successful branding in dentistry is a strategically created expectation in the mind of the target client.

Your patients chose you for a reason, they expected something – and what they expected was a feeling.

Some chose you because they live near your office, but they expected to feel that your location would be a convenient fit into their busy lives. Someone else may have chosen you because you go to their church and they expected to feel that you are principle-centered. Another person may have heard you are gentle, and therefore expected to feel comfort while under your care. And yet others may have chosen you because you are in their insurance network, expecting to feel financially secure if they ever needed dental work.

But how many people have chosen you for the quality of your work, the level of your expertise, or for the value of the relationship you consciously create with each person? In other words, how many people chose you because they expect to feel that they are in the hands of a masterful practitioner who truly cares who they are and what is in THEIR best interest? If you intend to develop a fine relationship-based esthetic restorative practice, AND have those whom you serve truly appreciate what you are doing on their behalf, then you must create a practice brand in the minds of your community which will lead them to expect to feel that way.

When people come to you with a sense of clarity regarding what they want, who you are, and what you can do, the chance of your meeting or exceeding their expectations is high. This because there is a fundamental match between their expectations and your capabilities from the outset.

But when people come to you with expectations outside the scope of your primary purpose or capabilities, then there is a high risk of confusion, disappointment, and in many cases – conflict. Conflict is the seed of discontentment, and when expectations are routinely violated – confusion abounds. When confusion abounds – conflicts multiply. And when conflicts multiply – everyone in the relationship becomes unhappy.

Unhappy people are prone to make poor choices and thus experience more negative feelings. And this is where many patients, practitioners and staff are stuck…in a “doom loop” of negative feelings about each other. Practitioners who are frequently in this negative place rarely succeed at developing their practice to the next level regardless of their clinical prowess.

If you have a high level of skill and strive to provide more sophisticated and complex esthetic and restorative services, it is unlikely that you will do so by simply waiting for it to randomly happen. Practices filled with patients who seek fine, complete restorative services have first created positive value in the minds of their target audience – they have “branded” themselves with a reputation for consistently providing high quality restorative care and people have organically moved toward it.

Practice branding should therefore be a process by which you are carefully managing how your practice is perceived. In essence, you are strategically influencing how others think of your practice by carefully cultivating your reputation. And this is achieved by effectively communicating to others how you can help them, what you believe in, and how you do things.

When practice branding is accomplished in a fashion which is organic and unobtrusive – it causes others to think that they’ve developed their perception of your practice all by themselves. And then once properly created, a practice brand is powerful and compelling. It becomes your “proxy self” by giving certain people specific reasons to choose your practice even when you are not around. And of equal importance, it gives reasons for others NOT to choose your practice – thus avoiding conflicts created by incompatible expectations.

In this way, an effective practice brand becomes a “self-screening tool,” as it allows prospective patients to decide much earlier in a relationship – often times before they even enter into one -whether or not a particular dentist and practice is the best resource to address their perceived needs and desires.

Your practice brand also helps to keep your practice and capabilities top-of-mind, by gently reminding them of your unique value. This in turn, makes you a contender to potentially provide more of the kind of dentistry you want to be doing, and the quality of dentistry that makes you feel good about what you are doing.

And when you and your care team feel good about yourselves, you are much more likely to grow personally and professionally. Thus, a positive practice brand facilitates growth in yourself, your team, and your patients.

And here by saying “patient growth”, I am not referring to a simple measurement of increased volume, but rather to a measurement of the increase in the value new patients place in your ability to help them achieve their health objectives and appearance objectives.

Lastly, the process of practice branding must be authentic and fit with your overall practice development strategy: a principle-centered evolution catalyzed by internal and external activities. Thus, one can’t “fake it to make it.” Practice branding is what Avrom King called an “inside – out” process, and therefore must be an authentic expression of who truly are to be optimally effective.

The final outcome of a well-executed practice branding process is that when prospective patients contacts your office, the same tone, image, philosophy and approach is EXPERIENCED which was EXPECTED.

Consequently, when the person finally arrives, they feel good about themselves and the choices they are making. Hence, Personal Branding is about managing how others feel about themselves when they are in direct or indirect contact with your practice.

How do your patients / clients FEEL about your practice? Is it what you want them to feel and think about you? And if not- why not? And if yes, how can you amplify those feelings so that more like-minded people can find you and your services in the future?

Branding. You are already living with it, why not properly manage it?

Paul A Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Motivation is an inside job.

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Carl Rogers, PhD was a leader in the Humanistic Psychology movement of the 1950’s and 1960’s. These concepts evolved into what he called “Person-centered Therapy,” which reflected Rogers’ belief that most people had the most appropriate solutions to their problems already residing with themselves, but were either unaware of their existence, or that the solutions were not fully developed enough yet to be useful to the person.

As a consequence of his mindset towards people, Rogers felt his role needed to be that of a facilitator of self-discovery and self-change, rather than to try and convince others to change in a fashion that HE felt was in their best interest.

The power behind this facilitated self-discovery concept was immediately recognized by Bob Barkley and Nate Kohn, Jr. PhD in the early 1960’s. And over years of experimentation, Barkley and Kohn created what is known today as “Codiscovery,” and the “Three Phase Adult Education” process.

Commonly not discussed however, is that Carl Rogers (and Bob Barkley) knew it was impossible to have a developmental / therapeutic relationship with a person who does not want to commit themselves to the personal work necessary to change. They recognized it was nearly impossible to convince someone else to change for the better, because the desire to improve, hence the motivation to follow through with complex, time consuming decisions requiring personal sacrifice could only come from inside a person, and not through any type of persuasion.

Beyond simple and rather impulsive decisions, it is impossible to “motivate” another person toward sustained effort, action, and personal sacrifice. This motivational force ONLY comes from within, although it can be developed or revealed through facilitation.

So, in a nutshell, that is what Bob did, he developed greater self-understanding, clarity around a preferred future, and then by doing so, he facilitated the internal motivation necessary for the person to follow through.

But Bob only did this with people who were indicating to him in one way or another that THEY wanted to change, and therefore THEY wanted things to change in their life… the patterns…the outcomes relative to dentistry …their feelings about themselves, and so forth.

THE DESIRE TO CHANGE THEREFORE REPRESENTS A PRECONDITION TO PROGRESS TOWARD CHANGE. Hence, when there is no desire to change on the part of the patient, you have a person (at least at that moment) seeking comfort, perhaps seeking sympathy, or even a person seeking affirmation that their self-neglect is an ok thing for them to be doing.

How we choose to address and manage these situations is a personal and philosophical question to be answered, but it is important to acknowledge that we cannot give health to others – we can only judiciously render advice and treatment, which may or may not help a person move in the direction of greater health, as health is a choice – their choice.

Bob knew this, do you?

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more on www.Codiscovery.com

Moving away from Mediocristan

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-Heartland dental currently employs around 1200 dentists, and plans to expand to 4000 with future locations already selected.

-Aspen Dental is collaborating with Walgreens to place offices in their buildings.

-25% of all practices are contracted with a DSO including 15% of all dentists.

-80% of all dentists are projected to be working under a DSO contract in the next 15-20 years.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

So opens Charles Dickens’ ‘Tale of Two Cities.’

One could read into current market trends that the end of individually owned private practices in dentistry is near. And you would be 80% correct and 20% incorrect.

Such projections aren’t new. Avrom King famously talked about this 40 years ago. He said that the market would differentiate into three tiers: Closed Panel, Retail, and Relationship-based / health-centered.

The “middle” of the market will be dominated by corporations seeking ROI for their investors. The bottom tier (Tier 1) will be various direct and indirect versions of government financed treatment.

The top tier, Tier 3, will be the only place that money-centric agendas do not rule the day. And consequently, will primarily be the only place where health is truly facilitated and promoted. The other two tiers will be focused on the efficiencies of treatment delivery.

And there is a difference between treatment delivery and facilitating health – believe me.

To this point, Bob Barkley said, “It is impossible to create health with burs, prophy cups, or surgical instruments.”

Heath in dentistry emerges only through self-responsibly and commitment. Yes, treatment is sometimes part of the equation, but treatment alone can not sustain health in most patients.

Oh, but there is money to be made with burs, prophy cups, and surgical instruments! And lots of it as the corporates better learn how to efficiently convert dental health care professionals into day laborers, and become more and more emotionally disconnected from their patients.

Nassim Taleb, author of ‘The Black Swan’ described middle market places like Tier 2 as ”Mediocristan,” where the size of the faculty is average, the quality average and highly repeatable, and the operators – average, because they are easily replaced, like cogs in a giant wheel.

But “average” care delivered in an average facility, by an average person does not serve the “average” patient well – IF the goal is the promotion of health.

So, what is your goal? What is your purpose? How will you thrive in the future if Mediocristan is not where you want to live?

“Only a totally new health-centered philosophy of dentistry at all levels of society can avert a collision with mediocrity on a world-wide basis.”

Robert F. Barkley, DDS

Paul A Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Truly meaningful relationships matter

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When the art and science of dentistry is reduced down to primarily being about “production” and code mining, its spiritual dimension is easily lost. Spend a few minutes on some dental social media sites, and you will quickly see this truth in black and white.

Dr. Pankey warned about this problem. The key to becoming a truly successful dentist isn’t just about mastering the technical, and making a lot of money. Such narrow pursuits are ultimately hollow, and do not represent enough to carry you through life as a fully developed and fulfilled person. And they do not represent enough to carry you through life’s inevitable tragedies and periods of suffering.

Creating a habit of connecting with your patients in a deeply meaningful way, helps you to form up the emotional antibodies which can carry you through the eventual not-so-good times…the times when all the money and material things in the world can’t solve your problem. The times when only love, support, and reciprocated understanding can begin to heal your wounds.

Never forget this. Chasing after the next new and shiny object may not be the the best solution for your situation today, as the best solution may very well be sitting right there in front of you.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com — with L.D. Pankey.

Help your patients think

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Why do rational models such as those used in economics, and classical decision-making theory routinely fail to accurately predict patient behavior? The answer to this question lies within the emerging field of neuroeconomics, which is the confluence of psychology, economics, and neuroscience.

Classic Decision Theory (CDT), is represented by a person making decisions which involve choices regarding a course of action among a fixed set of alternatives with a specific goal in mind. 

The three components of a decision in this model are:

1. Options or courses of action available 

2. Beliefs and expectancies associated with those options 

3. Previous experiences (memories) which are then used to project an expected outcome associated with each option.

According to this theory, people make decisions based on their desire to maximize gains and minimize losses. This represents a rational and logical left cerebral cortex objective type of functioning.

But anyone who has practiced dentistry for a day knows that this model fails to explain many of the decisions people make, particularly when they are complex and influence long-term health. In other words, simple decisions like: “Should I get this filling replaced because it’s broken?” or “Should I let them help me get this tooth to stop hurting?” are rather predictable. But what is much less predictable, is whether or not a person will want us to equilibrate their occlusion and restoratively reestablish proper function and esthetics.  

Or is it really that unpredictable?

It turns out that a person’s beliefs and experiences drive their decision-making. And these represent memories with specific meanings to each person.  So, if we fail to take the time to understand what a person’s beliefs are and what they mean to them, then surely as the sun rises in the morning, their decisions will appear unpredictable to us.

On the other hand, if we know our patients well on both a personal and emotional level, (including their belief system and other thought structures), then the game changes; their likely decisions become quite predictable. 

And then if we add another layer to this by prompting the question to ourselves: “Am I ok with the decision they are likely to make, and is it in their long-term interest?” then the game changes yet again, because we are querying ourselves about the fundamental purpose of our practice.

If we don’t like the way a person’s thinking is influencing their decision-making, then we need to “get them to think differently,” as Bob Barkley used to say. And by this he did not mean manipulation, rather he meant, creating an optimal learning environment in which a person could safely re-evaluate their current beliefs and thought structures so they could see if they are still serving them well.

The re-assessment of beliefs, modification of them, or outright replacement of them represents a right hemisphere process and a brain function known as ‘inductive thinking.’ For this purpose, Bob and Nate Kohn, Jr. designed a very intentional and specific way to facilitate it. They called it Co-discovery, and those who understand how and why it works will find that it can change the way they practice dentistry forever.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

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