Getting to “NO”

Build your relationships first….then your dentistry. ~ Bob Barkley

Getting to “NO”

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When a person consistently behaves in a fashion which is in alignment with their core values, and we also agree with those core values, we label it ‘personal integrity’.

But notice what I have done here, I have added “and we also agree”, in other words, we come into every situation and every new relationship, with a bias – our own.

But what if we are unfamiliar with OUR bias? Then we tend to see the world and others through a distorted lens – we fail to make the mental corrections critically necessary for discovering the truth.

If we listen to another person with our ears and from our perspective, we get OUR reality- and not theirs. We get what we think they think. We get what we think they feel. We guess. We project. We conflate. And we then start to function off of assumptions and not facts. And that can easily lead to confusion and conflicts.

Living with integrity is also commonly called, “living authentically”, which perhaps is good for us, but may or may not be good for others.

Why?

Because what if the person does not share our values? What if the person does not share our priorities? What if they function from a mental paradigm which is so different from our own, that we can hardly agree on what the most basic observations mean?

All of this is why L. D. Pankey repeated over and over, “Know yourself”, Know your patient”, because knowing ourself allows us to take the blinders off, and better see who the patient is -and what they are truly seeking.

And if we do not know ourselves, we cannot easily discern if what the patient is seeking is what we can (or are willing) to help them with. Because if we are living with integrity, we must also have red lines we will not cross, and therefore we will have patients we cannot help because doing so will violate who we are. And repeatedly violating who we are inside isn’t good for us or anyone around us.

Consequently, living with integrity requires us to lovingly say “no” – the most liberating word in all of our vocabulary. And “getting to “no” clears the way for us to be able to say “yes” more often with the right people.

Paul A. Henny,DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Why Good Rapport is not Good Enough

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The concept of NOT providing major rehabilitative or esthetic treatment on people who are functional strangers to us, is one that I have believed-in for over thirty years, and is rooted in my exposure to the work of L.D. Pankey (Know your Patient).

On an intuitive level, this makes perfect sense, how can we possibly manage a person’s expectations if we are not first in a relationship which allows for us to have conversations centered around them?

And there is an important strategic side to to this issue as well. Studies at the University of Virginia show that patients tend to not sue dentists they like, and whose character and motives they understand. Simply put, when something off-plan occurs, or an undesirable outcome evolves, the patient typically views the dentist as someone who is trying their best to help them – and not as an adversary to attack in retribution. They continue to work with the dentist until a more desirable outcome occurs as long as they feel the dentist is working in good faith to resolve the issue.

You see, healthy fully-functional relations are two-way streets, and they involve the rather concrete expectations of BOTH individuals.

In the middle of our busy days, it is often easy for us to forget this truth; it is too easy for us to confuse ‘good rapport’ with ‘good relationships’. ‘Good rapport is when we think, “I like this person, and this person seems to like me”, it is an important first step in relationship-building, but it is shallow. It does not involve a deep sharing of mutual expectations.

Only a truly helping relationship has the capacity to create an environment where mutual expectations can be shared, and where fears and confusion are addressed and appropriately managed over time.

Bob Barkley helped to pioneer the development of truly helping relationships in dentistry, and he learned about this concept from Dr. Pankey as well. Bob went on to master the method with the help of Nate Kohn, Jr. PhD —an educational psychologist and follower of Carl Roger’s work.

What Bob and Nate evolved became known as “Codiscovery” and Codiagnosis”, and it changed the world of dentistry forever, because it changed how patents felt about themselves, their dentist, and therefore the role of dentistry in their lives.

How well do you know your patients? Have you fully harnessed the power of Codiscovery to create more and more truly helping relationships?

Paul A, Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

Knowledge & Learning Are Two Different Things

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We all have goals in our lives, and so do our patients. These goals may include learning a new technique, losing weight, saving money, or attaining a healthy attractive smile. And it is easy to assume that the gap between where we are now, and where we want to be in the future, is caused by a lack of knowledge. It is also easy to assume that the same issue exists with our patients…that they just need to be informed more…that they “need to be educated” more.

But the reality is that knowledge alone rarely influences or drives behavior. In fact, new information may actually undercut progress toward change.

How so?

It all comes down to our personal and cultural bias toward ‘cognitivism’ – the belief that left brain objective facts and truths cause people to learn and therefore change.

But it simply does not work that way.
Learning something new and being exposed to new information are two VERY different things. Carl Rogers brilliantly explored this topic in his landmark book, ‘Freedom to Learn’, a book about the importance of experiential learning.

In many cases, the constant exposure to new information can be a clever way for us to avoid taking action. We studiously watch the news every night, but do nothing with the knowledge. We take course after course, but on Monday mornings, the routines and rituals resume. We even see patients bounce from one “second opinion” to another, seemingly stalemated.

In situations like these, we and our patients often claim that we are preparing or researching for the best answer, but such thinking is often just a rationalization to ourselves that we are moving forward when in actuality we are going nowhere, coddled in our bubble of the latest and greatest information steaming from the world’s greatest thinkers.

Acquiring knowledge and failing to apply it has become a multimillion dollar info-tainment industry in dentistry. And the fun locations, great socializing and food can all be expensed!

But what happens at the end of the day? A record number of CE credits to brag about? Another notch on the belt for studying under the latest guru?

Carl Rogers taught us that the highest levels of significant learning must include personal involvement at both the affective and cognitive levels, be self-initiated and so pervasive that it changes attitudes, behavior, and in some cases, even the personality of the learner.

New behavior emerges out of new beliefs, which are anchored in our values, and which create new meanings which then shape our habits.

It is our habits – not our knowledge which shape our lives. And it is habits -not knowledge- which shape the lives of our patients as well.

Paul A Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, © 2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

It’s a choice.

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“The less a service is perceived to be a ‘need’ the more profitable it can be provided to those who ‘want’ it.”

Avrom E. King

The insurance industry’s philosophy toward dental care is that it represents the servicing of ‘needs’, and that each ‘need’ can then be reduced down into various identifiable procedure codes.

This process represents the use of a concept known as “reductionism”, and insurance companies must use reductionism to bring dentistry into the marketplace AS IF it were a commodity, and NOT the professional services it truly is…professional services which are highly dependent upon the care, skill, and judgment of the treating doctor (and completely UNIQUE to each and every doctor).

Once dental services are brought into the marketplace AS IF they are a commodity, the competitive market forces can be leveraged to drive down the COST of services to patients.

Notice here, that it is not the dentists who are bringing their services into the marketplace, it is a third party, functioning as a MARKETER of their services who then takes a slice of the action for themselves for playing the role of “middle man” in a doctor-patient relationship.

None of this would be possible if we dentists failed to agree to allow others to market our care, skill, and judgement AS IF it is only a commodity. So, this begs the questions, “Are we just the personification of a commodity? and “Do we really want to be doing this to ourselves?”

How can we set a fee which is truly commensurate with our care,skill, and judgement if we can’t set the majority of our fees in the first place? And if our fees do not properly support the level of our care, skill, and judgement we routinely provide, do we even have a viable business model?

Obviously, we can’t sustain our practice at a high level if our fees cannot support it. In that case, we must eventually reduce the quality of our service to be more commensurate with the level of reimbursement we are receiving.

That is why I said “no” to “participation” twenty years ago, because HEALTH IS NOT A NEED (it is a want and a self-directed process), AND DENTAL CARE IS AN EXPERIENCE AND NOT A COMMODITY.

On this topic, Bob Barkley famously said, “Dental health is peculiar. The rich can not buy it, and the poor cannot have it given to them. I can make people more comfortable, more functional, and more attractive. But I cannot make them more healthy. I can teach them how to become more healthy, but whether they remain that way will be up to them.”

If we continue to accept that we are just “providers” of a commodity, and allow insurance companies to mediate our transactions, then we have no choice but to accept the situation for what it is – a codependency relationship that we have chosen to participate in. And hence, we must stop the whining, and work on how to fine-tune our servitude to the various insurance companies.

But they if we view our work as being something entirely different- as being facilitators of health, then we can break free of all of this dysfunction, and start to move back toward professionalism, and move back toward creating the freedom to practice in ways we know are best, which in turn bring about much more joy and prosperity in our lives.

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, ©2018

Read more on www.Codiscovery.com

A Tribute to Andrea

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When I launched CoDiscovery.com in early 2008, I solicited for contributing writers, as I envisioned the site as being a growing, forward-looking collaborative resource and not just as a monolithic retrospective. One of the many writers who approached me was a young, deeply talented and gifted Andrea Beerman from Westwood Hills, Kansas.

Andrea was a rising star: High School Valedictorian, dentist, Visiting Faculty Member at the Pankey Institute, speaker, marathoner, missionary worker, practice owner, and a general all-around inspiration.

Losing Andrea in 2013 sent shock waves through dentistry- still felt. It laid bare the paradox of personal strengths and courage which coexist against our weaknesses and blind spots. Many of us similarly struggle with our fallenness.

Today, I would like to share with you a piece of inspiration Andrea shared with me. I feel blessed that Andrea touched my life- albeit briefly. Andrea was a “third level thinker”, she not only understood herself and others well, but could also separate herself from both, observe, and comment brilliantly about what she had learned.

BECOME WHO YOU ARE

“Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.”       Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this quote from Emerson and understood it with greater depth as it reconnected me with one of my personal Core Values -originality. It reminds me that it is my natural state to follow my own mind – my own unique ideas.

Personally, I know I struggle when I try to do things like others. In these instances, I feel like I am not being my authentic self.

Sometimes, I have found myself conforming or doing something “the way it’s always been done”, because it seems quicker or easier. I don’t have to face the truth or something that may take me to my learning edge if I do things in a rote way. I do not have to make time to enter the “classroom” of silence to know more clearly the path to choose. In these moments, I know I am not realizing the sacredness of my own mind and spirit.

With this quote, I am reminded to continue to trust and tap that potential – the beautiful, unique spark of Life within me. A friend and mentor of mine encouraged me to find a picture of myself when I was a child and put it somewhere I would see it everyday. I now keep it in front of me, because sometimes I forget who I am in the midst of my busy days. Of course I am a dentist, but the truth is, deep down – I am still that little girl. That same bright spirit, eager to live fully, and embrace life. All I wanted then was to be loved, accepted and understood. What do I want now? If I answer honestly, I’m not sure the answers are different.

When I see her picture it makes it really easy for me to forgive myself for all the times I came up short and for the mistakes I’ve made along the way. I see her innocence when I look at this picture, and remember I am truly doing the best I can with what I know.

So I have this picture on my desk – to help me remember who I am and what I really want from life. What I’ve learned – it also reminds me of the truth about others – you, my patients, family and friends.

Beneath the layers of life, lie our bright spirits. I am at my best – in patient interactions and with my friends and family- when I can see others for who they truly are. I think E.E. Cummings said it best when he said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

I wish you my very best in your journey.

Andrea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where is our profession headed?

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”I have had enough”, wrote Gordon J. Christensen, “where has my profession gone?” Perhaps you have occasionally wondered the same thing. Or, perhaps you have been too busy to notice, as you try to keep things moving in the right direction in a dramatically changing marketplace.

Regardless, only the most recent of graduates will be  unable to recognize the dramatic changes over the past 30 years.

The deprofessionalization.

The industrialization.

The depersonalization.

The manipulation.

The cynicism.

The growing distrust.

The concurrent technological advancements

What is one to make of it all? And where is our profession headed? Is it “gone”?

These are not new questions, as they were on the minds of Pankey, Barkley, King, Wirth, and others more than 50 years ago. And the counter-questions they would all pose were:

Where do YOU want to end up as the marketplace inevitably evolves more and more in a reductionistic  direction?

Where does YOUR heart lie?

What are YOU committed to?

And do YOU have the will to see YOUR commitments through?

There is one truth here: Dentistry has always been changing. And some will ride the current meta-trends to great degree of financial success. Others will bob about like a sail-less boat on a turbulent sea. And others still, will find counter-cultural, or hidden opportunities to explore, and advance.

I have just returned from the annual meeting of The American Academy of Resorative Dentistry. (And thank you again Brian Vence for inviting me). No reductionistic thinking there, just an amazing group of dentists pushing the boundaries of what is possible, and what is most helpful to others.

No manipulation.

Pure professionalism.

Highly personalized.

Health-centered.

Our future is largely what we make if it, and driven by how we think of  it. About this, George Orwell famously wrote, “People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome”.

How are things playing in YOUR future memory? Is your profession “gone”, or are you renewing it every year with amazing new discoveries, which will ensure that YOUR preferred will never be lost?

Paul A. Henny, DDS

Thought Experiments LLC, © 2018

Read more at www.codiscovery.com

 

 

 

 

 

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